Am I a good mother?

This is a question I ask myself everyday.

Some days I with out a doubt say, "Yes, I'm a great mother!"

Some days, like today, I am defeated and I say....no.

I love to read blogs. I love reading my friend's blogs and seeing the great pictures and hearing the fun stories. I also will read blogs of people that I have no idea who they are. Sometimes these blogs are about children who have passed away, and how the family is coping. Or the blog might be about people who lost their infant child, or their life with a terminally ill child. These blogs are....heartbreaking blogs. Blogs that make me bawl my eyes out and subsequently question my parenting.

I am so blessed to have healthy children. I would like to think that I never take my children for granted. But I suppose I do. Well..I guess I don't take my children for granted, but I do take their health for granted. Having healthy children isn't a given. I wish it was.

So when I read these blogs, the guilt of having a healthy child sets in. I think of these parents and know that they would give ANYTHING to hold or hug their child again. Or to see them smile or hear their laugh. And then I wonder did I hug my children enough today, did I enjoy their laughter, and share kisses with them. How many times did I read to them? Did I yell at them? Did I take the time to listen to Brenna's silly stories or cuddle with Collier. Was I a good Mom? Was I a good enough mom for these amazing children?

I just hope that my kids know how I truly love them. My love for them is unexplainable. And they will only truly understand this love when they have children. All parents know that this love can not be explained or understood, it can only be felt.

I just hope my children always know how proud I am to be their mom. I am truly enjoying every minute of this crazy ride, and I hope they are too! I hope they look back on the childhood and have great memories. I hope I'm teaching them great things, and showing them how to be a great person. I hope they're proud of me. I hope they think I was a good mother...well shoot..the best mother. :-)

These songs sum up how I feel!

Brett Dennen - The One Who Loves You the Most
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4XwSRzNCYIA

The Beatles- In my life
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zI0Q8ytD44Y

Dixie Chicks- Lullaby
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CFOac8zybPE


For Collier:
Dixie Chicks- Godspeed
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VqaBof47pmY


For Brenna:
Taylor Swift-Best Days
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QCZnjo1bZTU
(I know Taylor wrote this for her mom, but it reminds me so much of Brenna!)

This post may have made no sense, but I felt it was important to write, and I feel the guilt subsiding. All I can do is to cherish these little babies every day.