Sometimes people get lost and just don't know where they belong. I have been searching for the last couple months for a job. I've sent in probably 2-3 applications/resumes a week, and I've only got ONE phone call. This phone call did result in an interview. I thought the interview went fairly well, but it seems like I didn't get the job. I'm not really disappointed that I didn't get that job. I'm disappointed that I can't seem to get a job. Then it hit me, I do have a a job. I'm a mother, and right now that's all that really matters. Even though part of me REALLY wants a career right now, part of me loves spending this special time with these babies. I love waking up with them, being home when Brenna gets home from school, doing household chores with the radio cranked up and my kiddos dancing widly, craft time, watching toon-toons with them, etc. I love our days right now. I don't know if I'm ready to give this up yet, and maybe God knows that. The right job will come around, the job that fits perfectly into OUR lives. I just need reassured sometimes, and I need reassured that I'm where I'm suppose to be.
I wish we had playgroups around here. It's such a small area, and there aren't any playgroups set up or MOPS groups. I think sometimes the reason I want to work is so I can socialize with grown-ups. When I was going to WIU, I went to school. I got to talk fellow students and professors. I was Miranda for a couple hours a day. Now that I'm doing my MBA all online, I'm always Mommy. So I have to do something about this. I'm thinking voluntery might be an option. I'm also going to put Brenna in a dance/tumbling class. I don't know if this will help me, but I know Miss B will love it. I'm also going to look at something for Collier. I have no idea what I'm looking for, for him, but something.
I only have about a year, before I HAVE to work, so I've decided I'm going to make this the most amazing year ever. I'm going to enjoy everyday with these kiddos. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy my time with them, but like most Mothers I also have my whiney days when they're driving me NUTS. I'm going to avoid complaining about those days. All days are going to be AMAZING days. :-)
I still have A LOT of pictures to post from July and now August. Maybe the kids will got to bed at a decent time tonight, and I can finally get the new pictures posted. :-)
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It's hard to find that balance between being true to yourself as a women and losing yourself, and loving it, being a mom.
ReplyDeleteI know this will turn out.
Thanks Em! I'm really struggling right now. Like you said its hard, especially when you aren't sure what you want, or what is best. I just have to trust that God will lead me, he knows best. :-)
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