Who I thought I'd be......

Today has been rough. I've been crabby and grumpy most of the day. Sometimes I just get in these funks, and I just need rescued my the madness I call my life. I decided I would blog and the following blog is what came from my fingertips. I feel a little more refreshed, and excited about my little life, so I guess my blog session worked. :-)

I am a mother, a young mother. I have 2 children, 4 and 1. I live in the same county that I grew up in, and only live 10 minutes away from my parents. I actually live a block from the very high school, that I hated and couldn't wait to escape from. Ironic huh?! I am everything that I thought and at times prayed I wouldn't become.

Let's go back about 10 years (omg...that makes me fill old..yes, I'm only 24).

When I was 14, I was a freshmen in high school. EVERY girl I knew whether I was friends with them or "frenemies" with them, had some type of boyfriend. Usually he was a couple years older and played football (and of course he had to wear the stupid letterman jacket, and if she was "special enough" she got to wear it along with his precious class ring). Of course these girls were convinced at the ripe age of 14, they were in love, and we're going to marry said football player and live happily ever after. I guess even at the age I was very cynical, and knew that they were pretty much nuts. I was pretty much the exact opposite. Even at 14, I knew that would not be me. I would not give into the stereotype.

I was going to be "something". I was going to flee from Mercer county and NEVER look back. I had big plans. I was going to go to college (and not the junior college), I was going to be a powerful business woman, and wear expensive clothes, drive expensive vehicles, and go on expensive trips. I was going to be tied down, and I was going to live my life for me. I was going to be everything that these girls acted like they wouldn't be.

Flash forward a mere 5 years later, and what do you find? A knocked up 19 year attending the junior college, still living in Mercer county.........I guess it was my destiny.

Now flash forward another 5 years, and I'm the mother of two children. I (along with a lot of people) certainly wouldn't have guessed that I would be responsible for two humans. Or better yet, that I would be pretty good at it?

Now I work part-time at a job that pays peanuts and doesn't even require a college degree. I spend most of my time wearing sweat pants and tee shirts, I drive a Nissan (mom car), and well I don't see an expensive island getaway in my near future. Instead of spending the day in a board room for a successful company, I spend the day wiping butts, scrubbing last night's supper off of dishes, scrubbing permanent marker off of my 1 year old son, and picking up 500 pairs of tiny barbie shoes.

I also spend the day listening to my 4 year old "read" her little brother stories. I get to watch my son, watch his big sister in amazement at all the "cool" things she can do. I then get to watch him copy everything she does while saying, "Mama LOOK! Mama watch this!" I get to her, "Mama, I love you", more times then I deserve. I get kisses and hugs, and just thoughts of admiration from two little people who have changed my life so much. I get to be their Mama. I get to be the person that they run crying to, when they get hurt. I get to the person that Brenna runs to when she has wrote the alphabet by herself and is to excited to even tell me. I am the person Collier ask for when he's ready for night-night. I get the unconditional love from the two most amazing people in the world.

I am so thankful that everything that mattered to me 10 years ago, means absolutely nothing to me now. I'm thankful that I met the "bad boy" and fell in love with him. I'm thankful that I skipped out in going away to college for that "bad boy". I am thankful that at 19 I got knocked up. I think that's when my life started actually being right. I'm thankful I'm not the person I wanted to be.